I once was in love. I loved, and I indulged the hope that the dark clouds around me would turn out a bright lining. I was young and so was he. He was a carpenter, born free, just as he freely loved me, and I in my young musings loved him. We had been childhood friends. He has always been there to talk with, to console in. He was very much like a best friend to me.
He purposed to marry me. And as his eyes looked hopefully up at mine all I could think was, how can a fish love a bird, for a free man cannot marry a slave. He held me close and told me that he would buy me and that we would find a way to be together. I knew that Dr. Flint would not consent to such an arrangement.
I was called into Dr. Flints study, my heart was pumping blood so quickly that I was almost certain that it would burst inside of my chest. My throat was so dry as I tried to swallow and pushed open the door to his study. I tried to appear calm, but at the sight of his face an uncontrollable feeling came over me. He was such a hateful man, who claimed the right to not only rule my body but also my soul. He gave me this look, this look that encompassed all of the feelings of a heartless killer.
He picked up a book and stared at it for a moment, and then broke the silence and said, "So you want to be married do you? And to a free man?"
I swallowed the cotton swab that was lodged in my throat, and said, "Yes, sir."
He said that if I did have to love someone then I could marry one of his slaves. As if! I replied quickly, and harshly, and then he cut me off.
"How dare you tell me so!" He exclaimed in rage as he threw the book he was holding onto his desk. He placed his hand on his head and closed his eyes as if in deep thought about some great important thing that was too difficult for me to comprehend. "I supposed you thought more of yourself; that you felt about the insults of such puppies."
I opened my mouth and prayed to God that He would grant me the words to say, "If he is a puppy I am a puppy, for we are both of the negro race. It is right and honorable for us to love each other. The man you call a puppy never insulted me, sir: and he would not love me if he did not believe me to be a virtuous woman."
He leaped at me like a tiger after its prey and stuck me. This was the first time he had ever hit me. How I despise that man!
So now you know the tragic tale of how I had once loved, and once hated.
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